Hopeless

What is wrong with me? What is wrong with me? What is wrong with me?

You chant as you stand huddled in your shower in the corner. You feel a pressure in your chest that hinders your breathing as tears roll down your cheeks.

You question your sanity…because why else would the simplest of things trigger you as such. Everthing is fine, really. But not really. Like you’re in a dream, and you’re seeing yourself becoming a shell of what you are. 

Every little thing is a big effort on your part. Like combing out your tangled hair. Or going down the stairs to check your mail. 

But you know something is wrong with you: you’re broken beyond repair. How do you fix that? 

And then there’s a knock on the door. You pat yourself dry and step out the bathroom door. You tease your little brother on the way to your room as you smile at your mom on the stairs. You’re huddled in a corner on your bed as you try to sleep. That one thought still lingers in your mind: ‘What is wrong with me?’ Its a broken record that plays as you drift off to sleep. 

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About bookishendeavors

Broke college student who likes to read & dream.
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8 Responses to Hopeless

  1. Lelia T says:

    You are NOT broken beyond repair. Please try to get some counseling or look for a local group of people your age where you can talk freely. And, in the night when you’re at your lowest, remember there are people here who care at a distance 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  2. It sounds like you’re going through such a rough time. I’ve had times like that.They suck. Talking to others coping with the same things and/or who’ve conquered them, can help so much. Just knowing you’re not the only one can make such a difference, in my experience.

    Liked by 1 person

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