The self-loathing that follows as the reality of my situation sinks in is the measure of my ineptitude as a “proactive” student. How can I do this to myself? Every time! I wonder if my incompetency of getting work done has anything to do with me overestimating myself. Or undermining my inability to work under pressure
The nagging feeling at the back of my mind is present, and I know how anxious I will get when I actually get to doing the actual task, yet I sit here and type away rather than getting to it. Why must I act so cowardly? I know I’m gonna panic when I start working on my papers, and so, I’m going to ignore the work entirely. It’s because that gut-wrenching, nail biting and teeth grinding feeling is worst than the consequences of me not submitting my papers. What does that tell me about myself? On the surface it indicates that I’m too scared to confront my fear of feeling horrible. But what if it’s something more? I think I shy away from confrontations in every aspect of my life. What if it comes to bigger decisions? Will I be binge watching Grey’s Anatomy and try to ignore my problems away then too?
How do you go from procrastinating homework to procrastinating life altogether?